Mr. & Mrs. Better Half: Going All The Way

Here are some thoughts from an incredible ending to our Better Half series at Elevate Church:

•  Every week we had more people in attendance than the previous week during this series and had several people give their lives to Christ!
• This last week we finished out with a message about Going ALL The Way in marriage.
• We had someone give their life to Christ on Sunday!
• We had someone there for the first time that is on the brink of divorce.  She said I have been fighting it for weeks but finally came and says she knows why - "I need this and our marriage needs this!"
• We used a four leg table as an illustration of four powerful pillars (or legs) of a marriage that goes all the way.  All of these are found in Genesis 2:18-25.
• 1) The Power of Partnership.
• Marriage is a 100% all in mutual commitment.
• It includes both love and respect.  (Ephesians 5:33)
• Our marriage is as good as WE want it to be.  Team work makes the dream work!
• Misplace "I" in unIted and you get untIed.  It is all about where you place "I."
• 2) The Power of Purity.
• "The man and his wife were both naked and felt no shame." (Genesis 2:25) 
• That is called purity!
• Purity paves the wave for intimacy.  You can not have genuine intimacy in a relationship without purity being present.
• Genesis 3:7-10 demonstrates what happens when we allow impurity into a relationship.
• We HIDE.  We hide behind excuses, blame, and a host of other things to keep from the real truth.
• Where secrets live, intimacy dies.  Where intimacy lives, secrets die.
• Ephesians 5:8-14 shares what must happen.  The darkness must be exposed to have the fruit of the light - goodness, righteousness, and truth. 
• 3) The power of Pursuit.
• The grass isn't greener on the other side.  The grass is greener where you water it!
• If you don't like what you are getting, then look at what you are giving.
• Read James 4:17.  Good intentions are not enough.  You must actually do it!
• If you want what few have, you must be willing to do what few do.
• 4) The Power of Priorities.
• Read Matthew 6:33.  If you seek your spouse or hunting a future spouse before God it is idolatry.  
• Jesus is the solid rock on which every relationship must have to stand the storms. Read Matthew 7:24-27.
• A great marriage isn't built in a day but upon what we do daily.
• Many of us don't need another to do list.  We need a stop doing list! 
• Don't allow good things to keep you from the best things God has for you!
• Now What?
• I closed out this series with two challenges:
• 1) Fight for my marriage and family.  Read Nehemiah 4:14.  Put it in a place you will read it often.
• Stand up! Fight for your marriage or future marriage if you are single.  Don't give up. All things are possible with God!
• 2) Return to my first love.  Read Revelation 2:2-5.  Jesus addressed people who were doing a lot of good things but they left their first love.  If you were honest right now, have you left your first love? 
• To get what you once had, you must do what you once did.
• To get what you never had, you must do what you've never done.
• We closed out the service with a song called Give Me Faith.  It was an incredible ending to this series.
• I am proud of our team and four incredible weeks that were pulled off!
• This coming Sunday we start a series called Invisible War based on Ephesians 6:10-20.  
• I heard so many people talking about the anticipation and excitement of this series.  It is going to be incredible!
• I love Elevate Church and the great things God is doing in and through us!
• These are great days...

Mr. & Mrs. Better Half: Fighting Fair

Here are some thoughts from the third week of Mr. & Mrs. Better Half:

• This week Troy Martin shared a message called Fighting Fair.  I am grateful for Troy and the great Word that was shared.  We are blessed to have him and his family as a part of Elevate Church.
• I first and foremost celebrate two people giving their lives to Christ on Sunday!  That is awesome!
• We are currently experiencing a 50% growth over this time last year.  Celebrate!
• Here are some highlights from the message
• How To Fight Fair: (Ephesians 4:22-32)
• No matter how much love each other, you WILL experience conflict.
• 1) Deal with my junk first
• The first step to fighting fair is to not look at your spouse, but it is to look in the mirror.
• The goal of marriage isn't to end all conflict because you will have it.  The goal is to actually deal with it when it comes up.
• 2) Discuss the problem.
• Discuss the problem honestly. (Ephesians 4:25)
• Discuss the problem quickly. (Ephesians 4:26)
• Don't create a false sense of intimacy.  Don't let things build up because eventually it will explode.
• If you are not careful, your pretense will become intense.
• 3) Don't be controlled by anger.
• There is one letter difference between anger and danger.
• Anger is not a sin but a God given emotion.  Anger CAN lead to sin if not dealt with properly.
• 4) Dedicate my words to build up.
• Proverbs 18:21 - Your words have power of life OR death.
• It takes only one second to undo hours of kindness.
• "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you." - That is a lie!
• 5) Decide to forgive.
• We don't forgive our spouses because they are good and deserving, but rather because God is good and deserving.
• We forgive because God first forgave us.
• When true repentance and forgiveness are present, times of refreshing are to follow. (Acts 3:19)
• We had a band from San Diego Christian College leading worship this week. 
• We closed with Beautiful Things by Gungor.  Great Song and great truth!
• Last week of Mr. & Mrs. Better Half coming up this Sunday with a message called Going All The Way.
• Proud of those bringing people each week!  This is your last chance to invite someone to this series.  Pray for people and bring someone this Sunday for a powerful closing to this relationship series.
• I love Elevate Church and what God is doing right now!

Mr. & Mrs. Better Half: Friend With Benefits

Here are some thoughts from a great day at Elevate!

• It was the second week of Mr. & Mrs. Better Half and we shared what it takes to be a "friend with benefits."
• First and foremost, we celebrate two people giving their lives to Christ!  That is awesome!
• Mark it down - Friendship is the key to a healthy marriage.  Everything else good or bad in your relationship flows from the depth of your friendship.
• Song of Solomon 5:16 - "This is my beloved and this is my FRIEND."
• Read Genesis 2:18-25.   There is so much goodness packed in those verses.  I can't even do it justice in this blog post.
• The first human friendship God created was between a husband and wife. 
• Unlike everything else God spoke into existence, He uses His hand to craft a gift of a friend/helper to Adam.
• John 15:13: Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  
• Three Relational Confessions to becoming a friend with benefits:
• 1) I Have Your Back.
• There is no one who really knows you better than your spouse.  That is why it is so significant that you more than anyone else believe in them!
• Proverbs 18:21 says the tongue has the power of life and death.  Your spouse is becoming what you speak about them!
• The benefit of this confession: Protection and encouragement.
• Read Proverbs 27:5-6.   Fake friends stab you in the back.  REAL friends stab you in the front.
• Read Ephesians 4:29.  This verse alone can save many marriages! 
• If you don't like the results you are getting, then look at what you are giving.
• 2) We are in this together. 
• A spouse saying I don't need you is a liar.  Genesis 2 clearly says it is not good for man to be alone.  Celebrate your need for each other to help each other become everything God wants you to become!
• Marriage isn't about your happiness.  It is about your holiness.  The number one reason you are together with your spouse is collectively doing more for the glory of God together then you could alone.
• The benefit of this confession is purpose and direction.
• Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.  TWO are better than one for they get a GOOD return for their work.  
• You need a purpose to live for together or you will eventually fall for anything.
• Read Proverbs 29:18.   The problem is not sex, the in-laws, etc. The problem is VISION.  All the other problems are the root of something deeper that needs to come to light.
• When the team works together, the dream comes together!  In marriage, you must be a team.
• 3) I will run to you not from you.
• Show me a divorce and I will show you two people who stopped pursuing each other.
• Wives put your husband before your kids. Husbands put your wives above your work.  
• The greatest thing I could ever do for my kids is love my wife and model to them what a godly husband really is.  
• The benefit of running to my spouse is intimacy and oneness.
• Where secrets live, intimacy dies.  Where intimacy lives, secrets die.
• Proverbs 18:24: There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.  
• Genesis 2:25 is such a powerful verse on so many levels.  
• The true test of friendship: "A friend loves at ALL times" - Proverbs 17:17
• Is that not what marriage is all about?  Loving at all times in every situation!
• We sang How Great Thou Art before the message and it was powerful.
• We shared a video of someone who has connected at Elevate and regularly invites others to COME with her.  That's awesome!
• We had many new people.  Love it!
• Our entire team in every area did a great job pulling off a great day at Elevate!
• This coming Sunday we are talking about Fighting Fair.  It can help save a lot of pain and heartache in marriages.  Don't miss it! 

Mr. & Mrs. Better Half: No Strings Attached

Here are some thoughts from week one of Mr. and Mrs. Better Half at Elevate Church:

• The first week we shared a message called No Strings Attached. 
• We opened up the message with some well known love songs to help get everyone in the loving mood.  :-)
• Huge props to our stage design team!  They did a great job with the look of this series.
• My wife joined me for the welcome time. I love her so much and she is truly an incredible wife!
• We gave away a marriage book to an engaged couple. We will have giveaways each week of the series.  If you are interested, here is the link to the book we gave to an engaged couple on Sunday.
• We opened up with some Relationship Myths:
• 1) Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.
• Read Philippians 2:2-4.  We must put our spouse's interest above our own.
• Marriage is a covenant not a contract.  
• A contract is built on mutual distrust but a covenant is built on mutual commitment.
• Are you the wind beneath their wings or the pain in their rear?
• 2) Everything good in our relationship will automatically get better.
• Married people know this isn't true.  A lot of singles believe this lie.
• When you are dating someone, they are putting their best foot forward.  
• I'm afraid many couples marry an image only to wake up one day to realize they married a real person.
• Don't refuse the fact you are married to a real human being.  
• Dating opposites attract.  Get married and opposites begin to attack.
• 3) My spouse will complete me.
• 1 John 4:12: "...God lives in us and HIS love is made complete in us."
• It is unhealthy to expect your spouse to meet all your needs.  He or she can't!  They are not God.  
• God is the only one that can complete you.
• 4) My spouse is to blame for the majority of our problems.
• Read James 4:1 slowly.  The fights and quarrels start inside of you.
• Marriage doesn't create problems.  It simply reveals what was already in your heart.
• A new relationship or marriage will not work.  You must deal with the person in the mirror first.  Stop the blame game that is as old as Genesis 3.
• Our focus must shift to becoming the better half.
• How? Love with no strings attached.
• Read 1 Corinthians 13.  Read Matthew 22:37-40.
• The foundation of everything we believe is driven by LOVE.
• There is a big difference between lust and love. 
• Lust is about me. Love is about you.  Lust wants it now. Love is patient.  Lust is about what I can get.  Love is about what I can give.
• 1) Love is displayed through actions.
• 1 John 3:18: "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
• Talk is cheap!  Love is a verb.  It is about action.  
• Action comes from passion.  No action then no passion.  It is not about obligation or manipulation.  It's about I GET to.
• You must convert good intentions to actions. Most relationships struggle and die on the altar of unconverted good intentions.
• 2) Love takes work.
• What kind of work? "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to SERVE and to GIVE his life as a ransom for many." - Mark 10:45
• Name an area of your life you can neglect and it would naturally get better?  You can't!  It is true in marriage too.  You must work daily at it!
• Great marriages don't happen in a day but as a result of what you do daily.
• 3) Love is about we not me.
• John 15:13: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
• 1 John 3:16: "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters (in Christ)."
• It isn't about "my rights."  It is about OUR relationship!
• Don't say, "God change my spouse." Say, "God change me!"
• If you want what few have, you must be willing to do what few do!
• We had a great kick off to the series!  
• "Never Let Go" was a great follow up at the end of the Service.
• This coming week we are talking about Friend With Benefits.
• It is going to be a great week.  
• I am so passionate about relationships and want to see couples get this right!  You don't have to survive.  God created marriage and it is to be wonderful.  It is NOT easy but with a lot of love and work it can be GREAT!

Trust Me, Watch This Video!

Take a minute and watch this video.  It is hilarious and SO true!  Be sure to join us THIS Sunday at Elevate Church for the kick off of this relationship series - Mr. & Mrs. Better Half!

Mr. and Mrs. Better Half...Starts This Week!

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We want to invite you to join Elevate Church for the kick off of a highly anticipated relationship series called Mr. & Mrs. Better Half.

Searching for your Better Half? Married and wonder what happened to your Better Half? If so, this series is for you!

My wife and I have been married almost 11 years and dated four years before that. We have been through a lot of ups and downs learning a lot along the way. I can't wait to share with you from God's Word and our experiences of how to become Mr. & Mrs. Better Half!

Here are the topics for this series:

February 5th - No Strings Attached
February 12th - Friend With Benefits
February 19th - Fighting Fair
February 26th - Going All The Way

Join us this Sunday at Torrey Pines HS for the kick off of Mr & Mrs. Better Half!

www.elevatesandiego.com | info@elevatesandiego.com | 858-997-4676

How The Revolution Multiplies

Here are some thoughts from the end of our Ne Year's ReVolution series.

• On Sunday we talked about how the revolution multiplies: COMMIT.
• We must commit to be reproducers.
• Are you a spiritual receiver or a spiritual reproducer?  The goal isn't disciples.  The goal is disciples who make disciples. 
• Elevate exists to lead people to become passionate followers of Christ!
• This series was about HOW we do that:
• How the revolution begins: COME.
• How the revolution gains traction: CONNECT.
• How the revolution thrives: CONTRIBUTE.
• How the revolution multiplies: COMMIT.
• Are you a 4 C Christ follower?  That is what it means to be a passionate follower of Christ.
• To See the revolution multiply: Read Acts 9:1-22.
• 1) I must provide the touch.
• We are the touch the world needs!
• There is no plan B.  What connects the love and grace of God to the needs of this world? YOU.
• 2 Corinthians 5:20: "So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal THROUGH us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 
•  There is a Saul in your life and God wants to use you to touch them.
• Every Christian should have a ministry in the church and a mission in the world.  What's yours?
• We will be a church that goes to the ends of the earth BUT how dare we think about going around the world if we first don't go across the street?
• Your campus, work place, neighborhood, etc IS your mission field.
• 2) I choose HIS kingdom over my comfort.
• Ananias questioned the Lord but Jesus didn't stutter.  He answered with the same command - GO!
• Sometimes we will have to go to the place we don't want to, so we can get to THE place God wants us.
• God never said it would be easy or comfortable but that it would be worth it!
• Luke 9:23: “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must TURN from your selfish ways, take up your cross DAILY, and follow me.
• 3) I recognize the potential is amazing.
• Matthew 28:19: "GO and make disciples of ALL nations..."  It was a command not a suggestion!
• Saul's life was changed and he immediately told others.  Acts 9:20 - "At once..."
• Never underestimate the value of one life coming to Christ!
• If you knew the cure for the cancer, I guarantee you would do everything you could to get it to people dying of cancer.
• We have been given the cure for the cancer of sin.  Our calling is to share this Good News with as many people as possible.
• How it all started: "Yes, Lord."  Atc s 9:10
• All great moves of God begin with someone or a group of people willing to say - "Yes, Lord!"
• We sang "To The Ends Of The Earth" by Hillsong at the end of the Service.  I loved closing out the series with that song.
• I have tried to pour my heart out the last few weeks in sharing our purpose.  Now it is time to go live the vision.
• I shared this Thank You blog post at the end of the message as a wrap to this series and as we enter year four.  
• We had more people sign up for our Life Groups on Sunday.  We've had the highest amount of sign ups ever for a life group semester. 
• A couple brought another couple to church they have been reaching out to.  I love seeing people invest and invite people to church with them.  That is awesome!
• A couple that attended for the first time last week were back Sunday and signed up for one of our couples group.  I love it!
• I am so grateful for what the Lord has done and believe He is certainly paving the way for even greater things!
• Year four here we come...