Porn in the Church

At Elevate, we recently talked about How To Have Great Sex. You can listen here on itunes or listen online here. One of the things we talked about during the message was porn addiction.

You can't have a great sex life in your marriage or future marriage if you aren't protecting your heart right now (Proverbs 4:23).

Culture has told us that sex is not a big deal because it is just physical. You need to understand that sex is not only physical but highly emotional and spiritual.

One of the things that is destroying marriages AND future marriages is porn. I have heard that the Porn industry makes more than ABC, NBC, and CBS combined. Umm, that would be a problem! Porn is an addiction that is controlling a lot of people and destroying true intimacy between a husband and wife.

Here are a few things to help you:

1) Get radical

You need to get radical in protecting your heart. Jesus talks about cutting off your hand if it causes you to sin as he was speaking about adultery and lusting over someone (Matthew 5:28-29). What was He saying? Get Radical!

Destroy the secret stash, don't travel alone, disconnect the internet, avoid questionable places, cancel questionable subscriptions, etc.

Never in Scripture are we commanded to stay and fight temptation. We are always called to Flee! (1 Corinthians 6:18)

You may be saying aren't you being legalistic? No, it's called being smart and not putting yourself in situations where you may be tempted to follow through and sin.

2) Stop Making Excuses

I have heard men say "my wife and I never have sex so I look at porn instead." That is pathetic! Maybe she won't have sex with you because you never pay her attention except when you want to have sex. Lay down your life for your wife and seek to please her (Ephesians 5:25-33). If you fill her love tank up, watch out because she will be ready to receive you as her lover.

Porn is an addiction. If you think you don't have a problem, then stop right now for three weeks. You can't because it's an addiction! Stop saying it isn't a big deal. It is a big deal!

3) Get Help

You can't overcome this alone. You need to tell someone. (James 5:16) Tell someone you can trust so they can pray for you and help keep you accountable.

A great site for help is XXXchurch.com. They have software you can put on your computer and every questionable site will be sent to a friend you designate for accountability.

Send us an email if you need help. You don't have to go through this alone. Get help!

Sunday Reflections

Here are some thoughts from Sunday:

• It was week three of our Making Love Last series. This week was How To Be Rich.
• Realize you already are rich! Read 1 Timothy 6:17-19.
• We complain about how bad the US economy is while over half of the world's population (3 billion) live on less than $730 a year. If your total household income is at least $37,000 a year, you are in the top 4% of all wage earners in the world. Talk about perspective!
• The message was truly about the Gospel. The heart of the Gospel is generosity. God GAVE His one and only Son. (John 3:16)
• The finances in your marriage must start with giving.
• Jesus expects us as followers of Jesus to give.
  
• God doesn't need your money. He wants your heart! (Matthew 6:19-24)
• God commands us to tithe. He can do more with the 90% than you could ever do with 100%. Read Malachi 3:10.
• Tithing is about trusting God with your life.
  
• We don't give to get. We give to get so we can give more! It isn't about a need for money but ALL about putting God first!
  
• Elevate Church has been so blessed! We didn't take a loan out or put anything on credit before or since we launched in January. There hasn't been one Sunday that we thought if we don't get a good offering we won't make it until next week.
  
• God has been great to us! So many people are faithful to give sacrificially to make this vision happen.
• We had several more new people! I love meeting new people and getting them connected to what God is doing at Elevate.
• We had some problems with our media. We are about to make some upgrades to hopefully bring some stability to playing videos, music, etc.
• I had someone come up to me after the service and ask how he could pray for me this week. That meant a lot to me!
  
• I actually had to think about it for a moment because I was caught off guard. I definitely appreciate those who pray for me regularly. It is much needed. The biggest thing you can pray for: that I would truly hear from God in leading my family and Elevate, then have the courage to do it!
• Spending some time getting ready for the next series. It is going to be a lot of fun! We will be sharing more in the next week or two.
• Can't wait for next Sunday! Invite someone! Only three weeks left in our Making Love Last series.
  

Random Friday

Here are some random Friday thoughts:

• Week three of our Making Love Last series is this Sunday. We are talking about the second of the Big Three: Money. We're calling it How To Be Rich. It's probably not what you think!
• Watched the USC vs. Ole Miss game last night. The Gamecocks won! That's the real USC. :-)
• My parents came in town late Wednesday night and leave early Monday morning. Our kids are having a blast with the grandparents.
• We grilled out steaks last night. I love steak!
  
• Pastor Todd Wright of Midway Church celebrates 25 years in ministry this Sunday. Very excited for him! He has been a great influence in my life.
• He will also be here in two weeks for our Making Love Last series. He has been in ministry for 25 years and married for 27 years. I can't wait for him to share with Elevate how they have kept their marriage thriving all these years.
• Here is a great quote from Rick Warren: "If you feel far from God, guess who moved? You are as close to God as you choose to be." Wow, that is good.
• My dad brought me Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy. I heard it is a great book and I'm excited to start reading it.
• I am very bad about reading multiple books at once. On top of starting Quiet Strength, I am currently reading Good to Great for the second time and reading Stop Acting Like A Christian, Just Be One. Both are really good books.
• I watched the season premier of Flash Forward last night. It seems a lot like Lost which is on ABC too.
  
• Talked to several people this week who are fired up about Elevate and getting involved to reach people for Jesus. I love it!
• People Matter! Stop talking about loving people. Start doing it!
• Becoming more like Jesus will offend the religious and draw those far from God to Jesus. Who are you offending?

Sunday Reflections

Here are some thoughts from yesterday:

• It was week two in our Making Love Last series and we talked about How To Have Great Sex.
• I am tired of everyone but the church talking about sex. God created it so the one place we should be willing to talk about it is in church!
• God wasn't surprised when Adam and Eve had sex.
  
• He created sex for pleasure. If you don't believe me read the whole book of Song of Solomon.
• He also created sex to multiply.
• He also created sex for oneness between a husband and wife.
• Great sex is practical! Communicate with each other, get creative, and make a game plan for dating your spouse.
• Great sex is also spiritual! Pray together, protect your heart, and promote unity by spending intimate time together.
• You don't protect your heart by looking at porn. If you are struggling with a porn addiction, please go right NOW to XXXchurch.com and get help. You need to tell someone because you will not get through this alone. Don't fool yourself to think it is no big deal. You need help!
• Have an affair...with your spouse! Be captivated and intoxicated by their love.
• I know parts of it was uncomfortable and intense BUT it needed to be said. You can catch it on the podcast later this week.
• We also had another Entry Point Class Sunday evening. It was great to meet new people and hear their story how they got connected to Elevate.
• The person to unlock the theater was about 30 minutes late on Sunday morning. That made for an interesting and quick set up for Sunday. Our volunteers are amazing because they made it happen any way.
  
• We got some new lights and they definitely add some color to the theater.
• Making Love Last continues next Sunday. Keep praying and inviting people!
  

Random Friday

Here are some random Friday thoughts:

• We continue our Making Love Last series this Sunday with a message called Great SEX. I will be talking about some things I have never talked about in this kind of message BUT it needs to be said.
  
• Don't miss this Sunday AND bring someone with you!
• We didn't get to record last week's message because of our sound issues. I thought about preaching to an empty room so it could be recorded but wasn't sure how that would work out. :-)
• I was able to meet with some people this week who came to our church for the first time last week. It is so awesome to see them fired up about Elevate and what God is doing.
  
• It shows you don't need the lights, sound, or whatever else. What we do have we will give you - Jesus! (Acts 3:6)
• We have an Entry Point Class this Sunday evening from 5:30pm - 7pm. If you are new or want to really get involved at Elevate, you need to come to this class. Dinner and childcare are provided. Send me an email to sign up and for directions.
• I'm almost finished with Phase 1 of P90X. Two more to go! I lost about five pounds but need to have a better diet if I'm going to make it really happen.
• My beautiful wife is on Twitter now! I finally got her to take the dive in to Twitterverse. You can go here to follow her. Now if she will actually send tweets. :-)
• Reason #542 of why I can't stand the College Football BCS system: a team loses the first week of the season and people are saying they probably lost their chance at a title. That's ridiculous!
• I went to a "Bring Your Parent to School" Day at Naomi and Elijah's school this morning. I love my kids! Great to spend time with them in their class.
• I heard another heat wave is coming to San Diego next week. Jesus please come back before then. :-)
• Can't wait for this weekend's service! It is going to be awesome. See you Sunday!
  

What Do you Really Love?

I love football, steak, cool San Diego days, basketball, my wife, sunsets, Jesus, coaching Elijah's soccer team, our kids, our extended family, Twitter, our church, reading books, winning, church planting, Mexican food, our friends, date nights, and a bunch of other things.

Or do I?

Do I really love steak? Would I lay down my life for football? What about my wife? Or Jesus?

We over use love but I think we miss the real meaning. Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends." (John 15:13)

Our small group is reading a book called Crazy Love right now. I highly recommend you reading it.

In it, Francis Chan challenges you to replace the word "love" in 1 Corinthians 13 with your name. We are called to live a life of love and one good measure to see how we are doing is to give this a try:

1 Corinthians 13:4- Kevin is patient, Kevin is kind, Kevin does not envy, Kevin does not boast, Kevin is not proud.

Ouch! That is one verse and I already feel like a liar. I challenge you to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 substituting the word love with your name.

Love is a verb! It is about action. Which one of those statements from those verses did you feel is not true of yourself? Make the changes! Put it into action. Do something today for your spouse that begins to fulfill these verses.

Making Love...Last

Here is a video we used as an opener last week for our Making Love Last series. We received the video from our friends at Granger. It's a great video! Take a look and then share it with others on your social networks. It is another great way to invite people!

The Making Love Last series is going to be life changing for many people. This Sunday we will tackle the first of the Big Three: SEX. I can't believe some of the things I will be saying BUT it must be said. God created sex so I refuse to let the world define it. Trust me, you don't want to miss this Sunday!

Here is a link to the video in case you can't view it below.

First Surfing Experience

A friend who attends Elevate got me out in the water the other day. He gave me a lesson through the surfing school that he owns. I had a great time and I actually got up by myself after a few crashes! Here are some pics from the day and I would highly recommend Pacific Surf School if you are looking for some good surf lessons. You can view more here. They had a photographer who takes pictures during the lesson. Below are a few pics...

Yes, this is me wiping out!




About to get up for the first time.



I made it up!




I made it up again!

Sunday Reflections

Here are some Sunday thoughts:

• We kicked off our Making Love Last series with Love Is A Verb.
• The top priority as you prepare to get married should be your marriage NOT your wedding.
• Don't follow your heart. It will always lead to destruction (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
  
• LEAD your heart AND do what God's word commands you to do.
• Marriage doesn't create problems. It just reveals the ones you already have (James 4:1).
• Talk is cheap! Love is best displayed through action.
  
• God didn't just tell the world how much He loved us! He put that love in action through the cross (John 15:13, Romans 5:8).
• Love in your marriage takes work! If you want what few have, you must be willing to do what few do.
• True Love is always about others BEFORE me. Jesus best demonstrated this (Mark 10:45).
• Too many times we try to change our spouse. You can't change them but God can. Pray for your spouse AND makes the changes in your own life.
  
• Love always wins over guilt, coercion, manipulation, or whatever you may try to do to change your spouse.
• There is never a dull moment in church planting! We had some big electrical problems with our sound system. We had to bring in a portable system at the last minute and do an acoustic worship set.
  
• We started late but every one was gracious. Our volunteers stepped it up and did not miss a beat. I am so proud of them!
  
• The spiritual temperature of our church is increasing. God is really moving in many lives.
  
• I met a lot of new people! Really great people and I look forward to getting them connected in what God is doing through Elevate.
• Continue to invite people, put up door hangers, and let's see God heal many marriages and change a lot of lives during this series!
  

Random Friday

Here is some randomness...

• We start our Making Love Last series this Sunday at Elevate Church! I am so pumped about this series! It has incredible potential to help a lot of marriages and prepare those who want to get married one day too.
• We are hosting an Entry Point Class Sunday, September 20th from 5:30pm - 7pm. Dinner and childcare will be provided. If you are new to Elevate or just want to know more, this class is the perfect opportunity. You can get more details here or send us an email to sign up.
• I went surfing this morning for the first time. It took me some time but I was able to catch a wave and actually ride it. I will put up some pictures next week for the proof.
• Every pastor and person attending church needs to read this post about healthy vs. unhealthy expectations of a pastor. Great stuff!
• Here is another post as a follow up from the previous one about how to help your pastor. Please read. Another great post!
• Susan and I put up hundreds of door hangers yesterday and invited people to Elevate.
• I have already heard of people who are inviting, putting up door hangers, etc. Also, I've heard of some cool stories of people who have been invited. Keep doing it! Proud of you. People matter to God (Luke 15)!
  
• Keep praying, keep inviting, and let's get ready for the great things God is going to do over the next several weeks and months!
• Making Love Last series starts this Sunday. Time to bring IT! See you Sunday!
  

Making Love Last

We begin a new series at Elevate Church this Sunday called Making Love Last!

How do we stay CONNECTED to the people we love - whether we're married or single or dating? Does real love still exist? Maybe we're asking the wrong questions. Instead of wondering how to FIND the right person, what if we ask how to BECOME the right kind of person?

Join us at Elevate starting this Sunday. We'll spend five weeks wading through the FICTION to find the TRUTH and learn how to manage the BIG three: Sex, Money, and Raising Kids.

Trust me you will not want to miss this series AND bring someone with you. It will be both powerful AND practical. We have a lot of great things planned. Also, we are providing some resources throughout the series to help you strengthen your marriage.

Go here to send an E-vite to someone.

Go here for times and directions.


See you Sunday!

Sunday Reflections

Here are some Sunday thoughts:

• We finished up our Game Time series with a "Gut Check." It was a time to check our hearts and see where we are spiritually.
• We took communion and it was another great reminder how Jesus sacrificed everything for me and you.
• Christianity has never been about your preferences and what is convenient for you.
• It is all about Jesus and what you are willing to do make much of His name.
• Luke 9:23-25 - Anytime, anything, anywhere, and at any cost. There is no telling what incredible things God will do with a life that is completely handed over for His purposes.
• One thing is for sure: it would be the most exhilarating life you could ever know!
• Why is it OK to be serious about a football game, a job, etc. but when someone gets radical about following Jesus that is considered abnormal?
• Stop trying to be normal! It's overrated.
  
• God has called each of us to a passionate wholehearted commitment to Him. People will take notice when that happens!
• I love our small group. Another great night and challenging conversation this evening. Do yourself a favor and get plugged in one of our groups. Send me an email and we will get you connected.
  
• Another awesome time of worship today! Jesus Paid It All had to be my favorite.
  
• We had several new people again today. I always love meeting new people and hearing about how they ended up at Elevate.
  
• One of the new people who attended already sent an email saying he would definitely be back next Sunday. That is awesome!
• Keep praying and inviting people!
• We start our new marriage series called Making Love Last next Sunday. It will be an incredible series. Do whatever you have to do to get people there!

Random Friday

Here are some random Friday thoughts:

• The final week of our Game Time series is this Sunday. The topic: Gut Check Time. Don't miss this week! You will be upset if you do.
• 21 Days of Prayer ends this weekend. Spent time each day this week praying over the names that were written down last Sunday.
  
• The door hangers and invite cards for our Making Love Last Series are here! They look great! Now time to go out and invite people next week.
• Our kids started back school this week.
  
• Naomi is in first grade, Elijah is in Kindergarten, and Jeremiah goes to preschool three days a week. If it's not crazy enough now, wait until all four of our kids are in school.
  
• P90X is kicking my tail. Tony Horton is my hero! :-) OK, maybe not my hero but he is one fit guy.
• Great post by Perry about needing more leaders who are "crazy." Seriously, read this post.
  
• Susan and I went on a date to BJ's last night. It is now my new favorite place to eat! Their Chicago style pizza is amazing!
• College Football started last night. I am so glad college football season is here. South Carolina won last night too! That makes it even better.
• It has been so hot. I am ready for that cool San Diego weather to come back!
• Get ready Elevate Church for an incredible Fall!
  

Do you have a building?

This is the number one question that I get from people who don't know much about church planting. Basically, that means everyone outside the "church world" and even some people who do go to church.

It is a shame that as Christians we would ever lead someone who doesn't know Jesus to believe that the church is about a building.

My goal in starting Elevate Church is NOT to get a building. Honestly, I don't really care if we ever have a permanent facility. Matter of fact, let's burn it down if we do get one and our church becomes about that building.

The reason we started Elevate was to make much of Jesus and reach people for Him!

John 3:16 doesn't say For God so loved buildings but that "He so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.."

Jesus makes it clear in Luke 15 that He and all of heaven care deeply about people! Every time one sinner is led to repentance there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God.

We are talking about thousands upon thousands of angels in heaven shouting and singing every time ONE person receives Christ. I don't think cheering at a football game can even come close to comparison.

Why? People matter to God and they should matter to everyone who claims to follow Jesus too!

We don't have a building and we don't need one to accomplish the mission God has called us to do.

We DO have Jesus AND we can radically love people. That is what church is about. That is what Elevate is about too.